rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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your mom.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops