What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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Hi.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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