Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!B

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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