Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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. . I am a whale

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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i like turtles

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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