Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Neither have I, nobody knew him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops