A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

- Why the black people smell? - To let even the blind person hate them.

what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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