Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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