Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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