Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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