what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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I'm homeless.

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Man: You know you're crazy when you talk to inanimate objects, you know you're Insane when they reply. Stick: I know, right?

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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