To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops