I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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