what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black man walks into a bar. He paid his tab and couldn't have been more polite.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

men's rights activists

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops