a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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