How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it could not afford sandals.

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what did the dog eat for dinner? food.

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Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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