Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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