What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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