Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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Dear Anti Jokes> A black guy walks into a bar...He says hey u Idiot Gimme that Root Beer.. Tony Fast says IDIOT U GET OUTA HERE RIGHT NOW!Black women gets a gun and shoots his son... Tony Fast says im callin the cops on u then they kill alll. And they got hit by a bus. By TobyTurner

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Whats two plus two Four!

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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