Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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