What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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wanna hear a joke? me niether.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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