Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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