You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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