YOU

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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