Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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