What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops