9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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