why was kade sad? he shit himself

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How old are you? 7

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rawrrrrrrrrrrr

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A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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