Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

A muslim walks out of a plane.

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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