- Anti Joke

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

Yes

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

Sex

What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.