What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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