I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

What do you call a black man in church? Religious

what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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