Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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