What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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