Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

24

why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

well use a tissue!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

no rasist joks

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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