How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Your're racist.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops