What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops