Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops