What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the mosy hardest game in the world? The Impossible Game.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why cant fat people walk because they are fat

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops