Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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