Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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whats funny about about adailia rose?nothing shes just fucked up in every way shape and form. but 100% defenatly stick my cock in her shitter

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2

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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