Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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One, two, three, four and five

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops