Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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