Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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knock knock? come in

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops