why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops