Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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