Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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