How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

knock knock. who's there? 9/11

I'm hungry.

Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

Male leadership.

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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