How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Hellen Keller went to town a ridin on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it.. ashhlerthurbujahustar.

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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