what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

TOP KEK

How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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