Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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i hate non minorities!

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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