What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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