how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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guess what what ...

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Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

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Why was the boy dead? The boy was hit by a bus ran over by a train and stabbed to death by a murderer then put into a grinder for a meal for the murderer.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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