Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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what is the difference beyween football and baseball the superbowl and world series

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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