Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops