Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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A dancer walks into a barre

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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