Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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